The Man Eating Bea-var!! ARRR!!!

//These took place at work.. not on the same day:
{
Sean (in a sort of Russian accent): "They say it's free country, but when I go to store and take the turkey they say "NO! You must pay for turkey!". What is dis?"
-
Sean (again, in a Russian accent): "They say it's free country, but here I cannot use testical as golf ball. If you think about it, they are more aerodynamic."
-
Sean (yet another Russian) (randomly turns to Dave): "David, did you ever find that bear that raped your dead parents corpses?" <-- what the fuck?
-
Dave (russian accent): "In Russia, we have three main exports: oreos, vodka, and large ugly women."
-
Seriously.. we get bored here at work. Can you tell we're a fan of the Russian accent? Things said with such an accent are MUCH more funny... =)
}

//sitting around @ work
{
Sean: "You know, I have a perfect idea for a practical joke for you... free enema coupons."
Dave: (confused look) "Any particular reason?"
Sean: "Because you constantly have shit coming out of your mouth."
}